I am almost 40 and dating a 29 year old.
Yes, there might be some who think this is pretty awesome. Yes, there might be some who think I’m robbing the proverbial cradle.
When I first met C, at a little country bar, I was sure we would flirt, kiss a little and that would be it. He’s young and handsome and YOUNG. No way would a good looking, fit, young man, be interested in a woman who could very easily lived more than half her life.
That was almost three months ago.
Tonight, I am struggling with this “relationship”.
From the beginning, he has told me that he doesn’t date more than one person at a time, yet we have never had the discussion about being exclusive. He is not a big texter. I got used to hearing from him every two or three days. It wasn’t easy in the beginning, but I’ve dealt with it, trying to understand that is how he is.
I haven’t seen him for almost three weeks now. He’s a reserve in the Army and was on his two week training or whatever it is when you are in the reserves. I was okay not seeing him, because frankly, being in the Army and defending this country makes me proud. And makes him more sexy. I was hearing from him every couple of days, but now, I haven’t heard from him in six days. SIX.
I texted him on Thursday morning and Friday night and nothing.
He was supposed to get home yesterday and still nothing.
How can your mind not wander?
How can you believe that his feelings are real?
How can you trust someone when they say they miss you and can’t wait to see you?
Three weeks since I’ve seen him.
Six days since I’ve heard from him.
Today, I am struggling. Today, I am sad. Today, I am ready to send him a text, telling him I’ve enjoyed spending time with him, but I’m that I’m done.
I feel stupid for ever believing that a hot 29 year old could like an almost 40 year old woman. I feel ridiculous for every time I got excited when he called or texted. I feel like a complete lunatic for letting my guard down and letting myself care about him.
I feel even more stupid knowing that if / when he texts me, I’ll probably still be excited to hear from him.