Knowing When Enough Is Enough

Everyone gets to a point in their life, regarding all facets of life, when they have just had enough.

Maybe it’s being bullied.

Maybe it’s being abused.

Maybe it’s work.

Maybe it’s someone hurting your feelings repeatedly.

But, we all get to a point, where we have just had enough.

I’m at that point.

Maybe it’s because I’m old.  Maybe it’s because it’s been a lot of years of the same shit.  I don’t know what caused it, but suddenly, I’ve had enough.

I have walked away from several men and friends, over the past year or so, because I hit a breaking point.

The Accidental Relationship: He was honest with me from the beginning about what he wanted and who he could be.  I dealt with it.  He had a girlfriend and squeezed me in, when he had time.  Several times over our two years, he didn’t come through for me, when I needed him.  He hurt me.  But I gave him several chances.

I walked away from him completely for 3+ months.  Blocked him from my phone and tried to let it go.

I missed him.  I missed our friendship.

I tried to reach out and apologize.  He responded and has reached out to me, twice since then.  However, I have now sent him a total of 4 unanswered text messages, over the last month.

Now, I’m done.

Mr. Rocker:  Weirdo.  Friends.  He thinks on some parallel universe, that we are married.  We kissed a few times, made out once.  In a year.  A fucking year.  Yep, I’m pretty sure in Mr. Rocker’s World, that makes for a marriage.

I told him I was sorry that the kissing ever happened.  That I cherished our friendship and wanted things to go back to normal.

He told me I was wrong.  That I was ignoring the passion and that he wouldn’t give up.

Perfect.

Guess what?  Don’t fucking tell me how I feel.

I don’t even want to be friends now.  I’m done.

S, The Bitch I Used To Be Friends With:  I worked with her for years and years.  Our friendship started with our love of Marlboros and bubble blowing.  For a couple years, it was a good friendship.  Or so I thought.

Now that I have gotten away from her, I have thought back on our friendship.  She was never a good friend to me.  She was one of those people who always would give backhanded compliments.

Wow, I didn’t think you would be able to fit in those jeans!

Your hair looks good today, better than normal.

On the surface, these seem like they might be compliments.  But when you evaluate them, they are really horrible things to say to someone.  Especially someone that you call a friend.  A BEST friend.

I ended that friendship, about 2 months ago, for good.  I’m done.  She’s horrible and mean and does nothing to enhance anyone’s life, but her own.

Buh-Bye, Bitch!

The Stalker: I don’t even know how to explain this situation.  We were friends, for years and years.  I made the mistake of giving him my original blog address.  It was fine in the beginning.

Until, he pissed me off for the last time and I didn’t want to be friends anymore.  He kept reading my blog and texting me about stuff that was on it.

I deleted my first blog completely, blocked him from my phone and am grateful that he doesn’t know my address.

There have been a lot of others, but frankly, I don’t have the time or energy to go through them all.  It’s exhausting re-hashing all that shit.

Now, here I am.

Battling the internal feelings of walking away from others.

The 29 year old:  He told me, a week and a half ago, that he wanted things to work.  I told him I wanted to talk to him, on the phone or in person, to make sure we were on the same page and could work things out.

Monday, 7/6, he told me he would call me when he got off work on Tuesday.

The day came and went.

Wednesday came and went.

Thursday, 7/9, he texted and said he missed me.

Ummmm, what the actual fuck?

I told him I didn’t understand.  That I thought we were going to talk.

Friday, 7/10, early in the morning, he said that we were going to talk and that he would be back in town that day.

Friday, 7/10, in the evening, he said he missed me and hated working out of town.  Then called me babe.  Yep.  Babe.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday, came and went.

So, yesterday, 7/14, I texted him three simple words.

I. Give. Up.

You would think that he wouldn’t respond or that he would ask why.  Or something.  Nope.  His response was “Come see me”.

Again, what the actual fuck?

I told him that I was working and he said for me to come see him after.  And then said that he hadn’t been back in town yet and that was why I hadn’t heard from him.

So I sent him the following, trying to be clear and honest:

I feel like my feelings are so unimportant and just don’t matter to you.  I feel like the ‘other woman’, who gets a text or a few minutes of your time, when you can squeeze me in.  It makes me so sad.  I don’t know what you want from me.

And then I ended the text with a sad, little, crying emoji.

I haven’t heard back from him.  It’s been about 24 hours.  It pretty much validates everything I was feeling.  Even if that wasn’t his intent, his lack of response or denial, is an admission.

So there it is.

I’ll miss the 29 year old.  A lot.

I’ve also had enough of guys not being gentlemen.

And no, I don’t mean in bed.

There are a few things that I think still should apply in current dating.

Especially on stupid ass places like Tinder.

If you are a match, a guy should message you first.  It’s just the way it is.  Girls want to be pursued a little bit.  I suppose guys do too, but right now, I don’t give one fuck what guys want.

My field of fucks.
My field of fucks.

This is my field of fucks.  There is not one growing in there.  NOT.  ONE.

I spent two days, texting constantly, with this guy from Tinder.  Literally, CONSTANT contact.  It was nice.  Had a nice time chatting with him.  I haven’t heard from him since Monday.

Chances are, if I texted him, I’d hear back from him pretty quickly.  But why in the actual fuck hasn’t he texted me?

Yep.  My thoughts exactly.

I’ve had the same number for over 15 years.  He knows where to find me.

I am talking to one really nice guy on Tinder.  He’s sweet, smart, spells great, uses great grammar and is really handsome.  Oh yea, but he’s in Afghanistan for 9 months out of the year.  PERFECT.

I guess my whole point to this rambling post is that I have had enough…period.

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6 thoughts on “Knowing When Enough Is Enough

  1. Ah Andi it really sucks and you definitely don’t deserve to feel this way. It’s like we have to put steel walls around us to deal with the beatings guys constantly give us.

    Liked by 1 person

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