I started talking to E on Tinder. About a month ago, maybe.
He told me that he was not looking for a relationship, because he was damaged from his second failed marriage. He was completely honest that he is looking for friends to spend time with, maybe benefits along the way. He was also clear that he already had such friends.
At first, I wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted or if I could do it. I told him just that. I told him I was scared to meet him, because if I really liked him and it would never turn in to more, it would be super hard on my heart and head.
I deleted my Tinder and my other stupid online dating sites, but E and I have remained in contact. Almost daily actually.
The conversations started out the same way every single online dating conversation starts out. The basic questions about what do you do for a living, do you have kids, what’s your favorite sexual position. You know, the norm. Ok, so maybe they don’t generally start out with sexual positions, but don’t lie, they always go there at some point.
Then the conversations turned a little bit dirty, but not overly dirty. Maybe a few suggestive photos sent. Maybe a few “I want you” messages.
Then the blatant, dirty, descriptive text messages. Go ahead and think that I’m a whore, but those are the best conversations. Especially if you know this isn’t the person you are going to be with forever.
With everything that has been going on with the married guy, the 29 year old and the Accidental Relationship, I was really in the need for some good sex. A few beers, good conversation and sweaty, hot sex.
So, I decided to meet E on Wednesday night.
I had been sick all day. Headache, earache and a slight fever. Probably nothing life threatening, but just not feeling great. I couldn’t cancel, because I have cancelled twice and he was starting to doubt my desire to actually meet him.
We ended up meeting at a wings place that has 4091 monitors up on the walls with different sports going all the time. It was fabulous for me, since I love sports, but he isn’t a sports guy, so for him, he was more focused on me. Which is also fabulous for me.
We ordered a few beers and sat and chatted. He is a pretty sexy man. Not someone you would look at and think Oh My Goodness! He’s adorable!, but he is sexy as hell. Shorter than people I normally date. Ok, he’s my height. But he’s sexy. Tattoos, shaved head and not skinny. I was attracted to him. And the beer was not helping that.
We ended up staying there and talking, smoking, laughing, drinking and maybe a little bit of kissing, for four hours. My fever broke sometime in between beers one and two and I was feeling my natural spunk.
He told me that I took good pictures, but that I was more beautiful in person. Yep, I know, he could have been lying, but I don’t give one fuck.
We had some serious conversation while outside smoking for the last hour of our meeting / date. We talked about exes, what we want out of life and relationships. He reiterated again, that he liked me and thought I was very cool. But that he couldn’t offer me anything more than friendship. The ‘benefits” were up to me, if I wanted them. You bet your sweet ass I do!
I felt really comfortable with him all night long. Never awkward silences. Not any awkward first kisses. He grabbed my hand and held it, walking to our cars.
At midnight, I looked at him and asked him if I could come back to his house for a little bit. As soon as he kissed me and felt me up, I was pretty sure that was a yes.
We had also previously had the discussion that because he has a female roommate, they had made the agreement that no one would ever stay the night. They could have people over for whatever they wanted, but no overnight dates. So I did know that if I went over there, it wouldn’t be long until my ass was asked to leave. I was ok with it. I had to work the next morning anyway.
I followed him home and had absolutely no nerves. That’s how I know my comfort level with him was good. I had no nerves about going to his house. A virtual stranger.
Now, before I go any further with this date, I have to say this. He told me one night when we were texting, that he was a little nervous about the size of Little E, but that he more than made up for it orally. I was hesitant. Usually guys who brag about the skill of their tongue, have no idea what they are doing.
We went in to his bedroom and I immediately stripped off my shirt. Yah, I was anxious. Stop judging.
We kissed a little and touched a little. Then I laid down on the bed and he went to work. OH MY GOD. That boy was NOT joking. He knows what the fuck he is doing and he clearly loves doing it. After the second orgasm, he told me he wasn’t quitting until I got my third. HOLY FUCK. It happened. I needed a chance to breathe a little bit.
But there is no rest for the horny.
The sex was great. I would almost say “mind-blowing”, but I’m not sure I should say that until the next time. And boy, there is definitely going to be a next time.
We snuggled for a little bit and talked and laughed. I then got dressed and headed home, after sharing a smoke with him, up against my car. We kissed in between drags and he said he couldn’t wait for the next time. Me either!
He asked me to text him when I got home and I did. He responded and said he was so glad we finally met and that he had an amazing time with me. That it wasn’t even about the sex, that was just the icing on the cake. Yesterday, he said he couldn’t believe someone as amazing and beautiful as myself, would be interested in him.
He’s clearly got some insecurities, which we all have, but I’m telling you, he might legitimately be one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met. I kind of think his insecurities, make him try a little harder. He’s just a nice guy. He told next week, funds will be a little tight, so asked me if he could cook me dinner and snuggle up with a movie.
I’m sorry E, but that sounds like a relationship-y date! But yes, I will definitely be there.
Now, a really quick update about the 29 year old.
It was July 21, when I decided to stalk his Facebook page. Right there, in all it’s internet glory, were the words “IN A RELATIONSHIP” as of July 14th.
I very maturely, took a picture of the screen and texted it to him, with one simple word. CONGRATULATIONS.
He never responded.
I sent him one text the next day. Basically telling him that I didn’t deserve to be treated this way because I had never been anything but nice to him. Told him that I didn’t even realize we were playing a game, but that clearly he had won.
He never responded.
Fast forward, exactly 3 weeks since I noticed the Facebook status.
“Hope you are doing well. I miss you”
Are you fucking for real?
I ignored it. I was angry. I was sad. I was irritated. But I ignored it.
Tuesday night. Ignored.
All day Wednesday. Ignored.
Finally, on Thursday, I decided that this was my chance to be honest and get all my feelings out there. I opted for raw and honest emotion vs. bitchy and mean. As badass as I pretend to be, I’m not. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Here is the text conversation, as it went yesterday and one response from me this morning. Which, by the way, he never responded to.
Oh, forgive the horrible spelling and lack of punctuation.
I’m guessing in a week or so, I’ll hear from him again. Maybe three weeks again.
I have been bouncing back and forth on these messages.
I haven’t seen the guy since the second day of July, and before that, it had been almost 5 weeks. He clearly isn’t using me for sex. I’ve never spent any money on him, so he clearly isn’t using me for financial gain.
I can only speculate at this point. Until he decides to try to explain himself, if he even wants to, I have no idea. I have a million thoughts running through my head.
Ex-Girlfriend who moved back to town?
Girl he was seeing the whole time?
New girl he met and there was an undeniable connection?
Just a dick, playing a bunch of women?
I don’t know. I find it hard to believe that he’s being an asshole, just to be an asshole. He is getting nothing out of this. Nothing.
We’ll see what happens. Maybe nothing. Ever.