I work with a lady who, by her words, is almost 60. She’ll be 58 in November. Her husband turned 59 in June.
They have been together since she was 14. Yes, you read that right. FOURTEEN.
He was newly 16, when the met and started “dating”. He had previously been with another girl, but for a little over 43 years, they have been the only one the other has been with. (Well, to the best of her knowledge)
I know them as a couple and individually, and let me tell you, I’m convinced that they were clearly put on this Earth to be together and complete each other. I have not one doubt.
She’s a good friend to me. An amazing woman and friend. However, the problem with talking to her about dating in 2015 and the douche bags I tend to meet, is that she has absolutely NO clue how to help me. She can’t imagine dating in this day and age and dealing with the complications and pain that come with it.
She asked me why meetings and dates always ended in sex. Or usually. First, I assured her that I was not the only one who did this. Second, I told her that I didn’t know. There could be several reasons.
I firmly believe this is a huge reason sex happens so often on a first meeting. You meet someone online and go through the hours and days of communicating through text. You find out all kinds of stuff about this person, what they enjoy doing, what types of food they like, what their worst nightmare was as a kid. They ask for a picture, you giggle and say “what kind of picture?”. They send back the smiling devil emoji.
By the time you actually meet someone, you know their entire life story, what position they prefer during sex and you’ve probably heard them brag about their skills, orally or otherwise. You feel like you know them and sex is the next step.
Because most good stories start with alcohol consumption.
A lot of times when you meet someone for the first time, you decide to have alcohol. It isn’t a bad idea. I do it. It relaxes you and lets your guard come down a little bit. In my case, it throws my guard out the fucking window and then runs it over, twice.
When I’m drinking and my inhibitions are lowered, if the kisses are good and he’s attractive, chances are, I’ll put out. I KNOW it’s not a decision to be proud of, but I’m honest.
I have a lot of insecurities. I will not go in to them, because I think they are probably the same across the board for most women.
BUT, I know that sex is something I’m good at.
I don’t know if deep down, I think I can win them over with it or feel like I should get mine before things go horribly wrong.
I told my friend that when I was a teenager, I used to get butterflies from the thought of a first kiss. And to be honest, I still do. There can be something so magical about the first kiss, if it’s good.
But now, it seems like sex has become the norm. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I am just easy. It just seems like sex has become as common as a hand shake, a hug or a first kiss.