Being Vindictive


I am not a vindictive person.  If I get hurt or angry, I tend to sit home and cry it out.  I will talk the situation out with my friends, until I feel better.  I have never felt that “getting even” with someone, was the right approach.

I know that it happens.  I have seen it a few times.

A woman that I used to be friends with, we’ll call her Bitch, is probably the most vindictive person I know.  However, in her case, it worked in her favor…for now.

Bitch had a couple horribly destructive relationships when she was younger, so she decided that she was a lesbian.  She had a girlfriend that she lived with and the girlfriend was a little bit possessive, but really good to Bitch, for the most part.

Bitch and I worked together for years and years.  About five years ago, she decided she wasn’t a lesbian anymore.  She missed dick.  (who wouldn’t?)  She started dating a married man that we worked with.  And when I say “dating”, I mean fucking.  When all this started, I was the only one who knew anything about them.  Anyway, like most women would, she ended up falling for him.

He made her promise after promise about leaving his wife and would repeatedly tell her how much he hated his wife and how unhappy he was.

Our company ended up moving our production line to another city and our facility was shutting down.  They both accepted jobs at the other facility and moved.  She got an apartment that she stayed in during the week, coming home to her “girlfriend” on the weekends.  He stayed in her apartment every night and came home to his “wife” on the weekends.

After three years of fucking a married man, Bitch decided she wasn’t happy with the situation anymore.  She gave him an ultimatum.  Her or the wife.  He didn’t budge.  So what did Bitch do?  She contacted the wife.

Yep.  Contacted the fucking wife.

Told her everything.

She blew up his world.  However, in her case, it worked.  The wife filed for divorce and he came running back to Bitch.  I was shocked.  I never expected it to go that way.  It very rarely does.

Her and I are no longer friends.  I can only assume they are still together.  She’s a horrible woman and he’s a horrible man, so maybe it’s ok that it worked out.  He’ll fuck her over.  She’ll probably decide she’s a lesbian again.  I don’t know and frankly, it doesn’t matter.

The reason I decided to write this post is because one of my best friends, we’ll call her L, has fallen victim to a vindictive soon-to-be ex wife.

L has been married for 19 years, in June.  In June, she told her husband that she was done.  That she wasn’t happy and couldn’t do it anymore.  I’ve known her since I was 11, so I know for a fact, she hasn’t been happy for probably 10-12 years of her marriage.

She was having a relationship with a man, who was also married, for the past three years.  The man and his wife, separated and filed for divorce, almost a year ago.

Fast forward to this week –>

Here we are.  Both couples broken up.  One in the middle of divorce, one in the midst of getting ready to file.

His soon to be ex wife, contacts L’s soon to be ex husband and tells him everything she knows or thinks she knows.  Most of it is exaggerated lies.  She also sent horrible messages to L, in the midst of all this.  But her final message is one of apology, kind of.  She’s sorry that she contacted her.  She’s sorry that she had to contact her husband, but of course he had a right to know.  Now she’s done.  She doesn’t want to think about it anymore.

Oh, ok you bitch.  You want to blow up lives, cause problems where they don’t need to be and now you want to bow out?

I will never understand this in women.  Or men.  The need to hurt others just so someone feels as bad as you do?  Cry it out.  Get drunk.  Fuck someone else.  Whatever you need to do.  But to intentionally blow up someone else’s world?

I have been in a sexual relationship with a married man.  It went on for almost a year and a half.   When things ended and my feelings got hurt, it never crossed my mind to contact his wife.  EVER.

I was seeing the Accidental Relationship for almost two years.  He had a girlfriend the entire time.  I knew about her.  Again, my feelings got hurt 107 times in that two years, and I still never thought about ratting him out.  I was even at karaoke one time when they showed up together.  I never said a word.  Never let on that I had been fucking her man for two years.

I will never understand being vindictive and only hurting someone to make yourself feel better.  Or to have others be in as much pain as you are.

I strive to make others happy, not to break them.


4 thoughts on “Being Vindictive

  1. I am the other woman and my married man broke up with me…..I wonder how ANYONE could be vindictive – his wife had NOTHING to do with our relationship and shouldn’t have to deal with the terrible pain of finding anything out from me…either he tells her or he doesn’t but it’s his choice in his marriage. Why do people do this to one another? What’s the point?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish I understood. I believe some women truly just want to hurt others like they are hurting. They don’t look at consequences, who they are hurting, children that may be involved. They look at the instant gratification of making themselves feel better. I don’t understand it.

      Liked by 1 person

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