Talking Sex


When I was 11, I had a neighbor who was 3 years older than me.  Her name was Jennifer.

One day, we were outside, listening to Duran Duran on the boom box and she made an unsolicited comment to me that, at the time, made me cry.  She said “Andi, you have dick sucking lips.”

What the actual fuck did that mean?

I knew what she was saying, but really?  Only one thought went through my 11 year old brain.  Why in the world would anyone suck a dick? 

Fast forward 29 years.

Now, I get it.  Sucking dick is not my favorite thing, but I’m pretty gifted in that department and frankly, I love the look on the guys face.  So, ultimately, Jennifer was right.  I apparently do have dick sucking lips.

Almost everything I learned about sex, I learned from friends or by trial and error, with various partners over the years.  Which is probably pretty common.

I think there are some people out there that have actual “sex” conversations with their parents, but is your mom really going to get in to detail?  Is she really going to tell you what positions feel the best, that sometimes it’s ok to be spanked?  No, probably not.

I have had so many different sexual experiences over my life.  As we all have.  Well, most of us.  Ok, maybe just the whores out there.  *raises hand*  I love sex.  However, over the years, I have run in to many different types of sex, some good and some horrific.

Jackhammer: In my experience, this guy usually has a pretty good-sized dick and has ZERO clue what to do with it.  He consistently jackhammers your vag, over and over, with no regards to how it might feel to you.  I dated a Jackhammer once and I’m pretty sure he is the reason I had to have my gall bladder removed.  I’m kidding about that, but dammit, learn some skill.

Sex With a Rhythm:  Don’t knock it until you try it.  The Accidental Relationship and I had amazing sex.  A-Fucking-Mazing.  He was above average in size and boy oh boy did this guy know how to use it!  He told me, after about 3 months of fucking, that he would play certain theme songs in his head and move along to the rhythm in his head.  His favorites (and mine) were the Jaws theme and Addams Family theme.  Give it a shot!

Is It In?:  Sad but true.  I do not have a stretched out vagina.  I just don’t.  I actually don’t even know if this happens.  But I’ve had enough men tell me over the years that I’m tight.  The first time I had sex with Is It In Guy, ended up being the last time.  We were making out, he went down on me (which was fucking amazing) and then when it came down to the actual intercourse, he said “God you feel so good!”.  Um.  Thank you?  But are you in yet?  Horrible.  That was it for me and him.  Buh Bye.

All About You:  Not to be confused with the “All About Me” guy.  All about you is the guy who just wants to make sure you are satisfied and enjoying the experience to the fullest.  This guy might be one of my favorites.  He usually tries harder than most. The only bad thing about All About You, is that he may be insecure and ask too many questions.  Dude, if I’m arching my back, moaning in your ear and my eyes are rolling back in my head, please don’t ask me if it feels good.  It does.

Narrator:  I like dirty talk in bed, as much as the next whore.  BUT, I do not need it all narrated for me.  You don’t need to tell me that you are sliding your cock deep inside me.  If you are doing it right, I’m feeling it.  Go ahead and tell me how amazing I feel and when you’re gonna cum, but please do not tell me that you are going to lift one of my legs up on your shoulder, put one hand on the bed and then slide it in four times, before we both cum.  I’m there.  I know all these things.  Just watch what you are saying.

Even having these sexual experiences and many others, there were still things that I heard about and read about, that I wasn’t sure I could ever get on board with.

Well, it turns out, if you have the right person that is willing to be patient with you and that you trust completely, some of these boundaries might change and you might actually end up enjoying things that you didn’t think you would.

Over the last five years, I have had a couple different guys try to choke me during sex. I actually freaked the fuck out.  In one instance, I actually cried.  Let me explain my reaction.  When I was 18 years old, my daughter’s father tried to strangle me.  Not during sex.  Out of pure hatred and rage.  He actually put his hands around my throat and squeezed.  It was terrifying.  22 years later, the thought of having someone’s hands around my neck, is scary.

Enter E.

We are very open in our discussions about sex.  We always have been.  He texted me a fantasy one night, that involved some light choking.  I panicked.  I explained my past to him and he completely understood.  Thanked me for being honest with him and promised to never push the envelope with me.

After about a month of having sex with E and getting to know him so well, one night after a few shots of tequila, I decided I wanted to try some light easy choking.  Nothing scary.  Just wanted to see what it was about.

Yes.  I loved it.

There have been a couple new things that I have tried with E.  Some I loved and some I could do without.  I love the fact that I can be honest with him, tell him exactly how I feel about certain things, with no judgement or him being upset.  I also love that I can ask questions that probably seem a little naive to him and he will give me his honest thoughts about it.

He never tries new things with me, until we talk about it first.

I was thinking about starting a sex bucket list, but honestly, I’m not sure what would be on it right now.  As experienced as I thought I was, this man is opening new sensations and new emotions for me.

I’m so anxious and excited to see where this journey takes me.  Sexually and emotionally.


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