Facebook is fabulous. You can catch up with high school friends, post pictures of drunk escapades, play the ever-challenging Candy Crush Soda Saga and keep up with the most current unpleasant news and politics.
But let’s face it, we all know that Facebook is really an easy way to “stalk” people. We’ve all done it. So please, if you are reading this and saying “I’ve never done that!”, you’re lying.
When I was having an affair with a married man, I used to go on once in a while and look at his wife’s page. There wasn’t a lot I could see, but pics of their kids and some of them together. It was a reality check to me. Kind of kept me grounded.
Also, when I was meeting people online, once we exchanged phone numbers, I would put the number into Facebook to see if they came up. Make sure there are no pictures of a wife or girlfriend. I’m not sure I consider that stalking though. It’s all about safety.
Last night, E met my parents for the first time. A big step. He went with me to my mom’s for dinner and games. He fit right in. Freaked me out a little actually. They chatted, we had dinner and then chatted some more. We made some cute little candy dishes out of actual candies.
In the middle of candy dish making and having a few vodka and lemonade drinks, I decided that E and I needed a picture together. I was standing behind him, threw my arms around his neck and he snapped the picture. It might be one of the best pictures I have ever taken, with my clothes on.
I immediately uploaded the picture to Facebook and made it my profile picture. I did not tag him in the photo though. For one reason and one reason only, I didn’t want the roommate to think I was peeing on his leg, or trying to make her feel bad. I clearly don’t like her because of the situation, but I am not a vindictive or hurtful person.
After I uploaded the picture, my friends starting “liking” it and commenting on it.
Let me explain why.
I have been single for the better part of 5 years now. I have only posted one picture of me and another man. New York. When I was in New York, I posted a pic of him and I together. I have avoided doing it because 1) I haven’t cared that much about anyone who wasn’t in a relationship or married; 2) I didn’t want to answer any questions from anyone who didn’t matter.
So, needless to say, my friends were all over it.
You look so happy!
E looks at me and says “did you tag me in that photo?” I said no.
E asks to see the comments on the photo because he has very little service. I show him.
E tells me he wants to go outside and smoke. I join him.
E shows me a text conversation that he is having with the roommate, within 30 minutes of me changing my profile picture.
Her: Could you please tell Andi to block me on Facebook? I do not want to see her profile pictures or the comments under it.
Him: She didn’t tag me, so…
So she’s checking out my Facebook? If she doesn’t want to see my stuff, quit looking at it.
Him: If you don’t want to see her pictures, quit looking at her page.
I am not going to block her. I am a 40 year old woman. If she wants to block me, have at it.
Him: You are already stalking her page, block her.
Her: I know, but if I block her, I can unblock her just as easily. How about if we block each other?
Her: I’ve changed my picture to one of just me now.
I’m not blocking her E. I didn’t tag you because I don’t want to cause problems for you or try make her jealous or angry. But I’m not blocking her. She can be an adult and stay off my Facebook page.
He agreed and as far as I know, never responded to her.
Now, in the past, I have looked at her Facebook as well. I was bothered by some things I saw, so I am using my brain and mustering up some self restraint. I don’t look at it anymore. The main difference between her and I? She posts pictures of them together and then tags him in them. They show up in my feed. I deal with it. I know the situation and I cope.
If we aren’t friends on Facebook and you are stalking me, you CANNOT be pissed or get your feelings hurt about anything I’m posting.
Stop stalking me if you don’t want to see my face.
It’s really, really that fucking simple.