Crazy Train?

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Do you ever hear something come out of someone’s mouth and think “Did I board the crazy train?”

I don’t necessarily mean the Ozzy train, although all I can hear is the music in my head at the moment.

As can you.

I’m sorry.

Let me take you on a little trip.

Stop One: The Ex-Roommate

As those of you who have been reading my blog know, E’s now EX-roommate is a real piece of work.  She moved in with him as friends with benefits, long before E knew who I was.  Well, he ended liking me.  Loving me.  And she ended up flipping the fuck out.

She clearly didn’t like me.  Which is fine with me.  I didn’t give one fuck.  But of course, E is her friend and it bothered him a bit.

He ended up ending romantic ties with her and told her they just needed to be friends.  They could still hang out once in a while, but they were just friends and roommates.  No more benefits.

She started stalking my Instagram, which is fine, we ALL do it.  But she would ask him questions about pictures I put on there a year ago.

She started stalking my Facebook, which again is fine, we ALL do it.  But she didn’t like what she saw and told him to ask me to block her.

She finally blocked me on Facebook but then when she couldn’t stand the not knowing anymore, she unblocked me.

Really?

I made my Instagram private and did end up blocking her on Facebook.  Bitch doesn’t need to know that much about me.

He finally asked her to move out.  A few months late, in my opinion.

He finally made things official with me.  Whatever “official” means.  I guess we can’t fuck others now.

He is now in the process of moving in with me.  Yippee!!  Full-time, live-in sex!

Since all this happened, she has been sending him sad text messages, mean messages, crying pictures on Snapchat and posting memes about failed love on Facebook.  Oh I’m sorry you are hurting, but come on!  Cry to your friends and write a blog, like normal girls do!

Anyway, last night is when I felt like I boarded the crazy train.

E met her at his house, so she could get a few things that she conveniently, I mean, accidently left there when she moved out and returned her key.

These are just a few of the gems that came out of her mouth to him last night, and she reiterated it all in text later last night.

  • I’m really glad you are happy E, I just wish it would have been with me.
  • Please let Andi know how sorry I am about being a crazy, jealous bitch.
  • Tell Andi it’s ok to unblock me now on Facebook, I want to see the things she tags you in.
  • I think in the future, we would all be really good friends.  We could hang out!
  • On Monday nights, when she watches the Bachelor, you should come over!

ALL ABOARD!!

None of this shit will happen.

I am not unblocking her.   You can’t always get your way.

I don’t care if you are sorry.  Crazy, jealous bitch can’t just be undone.

We aren’t, in the future or anytime, going to be really good friends.  Nor will we “hang out”.

And I do not think my boyfriend will ever be ditching me and my kids on Bachelor Monday, to come hang out with you.

Stop Two: The Ex-Friend

I cannot remember how much I wrote about her.  My Ex-Friend.  We’ll call her BL.

I have known her for 13+ years.  We met right before I got married and at the time, she was happily married with three kids.  We clicked instantly.  The connections that we had and where we were in life, quickly turned our work friendship into a best friendship.

Through the last 13 years, we have both gotten divorced, had deaths in our families, watched our children grow.  Our children have messed up and gotten back on tracks.  But ultimately, we were there for each other.

She had become increasingly mean and negative.  She would flip out on her boyfriend.  She would flip out on friends.  I always supported her, because that is what friends do.

Well, over the last year or so, I have been the target of her aggression.  When she drinks too much (every fucking day) she says mean things, just with the intention of hurting others.

In January, we got in a huge argument.  Actually, she argued and I just listened, until I hung up on her.  She was drunk and pissed that I didn’t stay somewhere she wanted me to stay.  She started calling me a horrible friend.  Telling me that I hated her kids and our friends kids (which is NOT true) and then when I tried to talk to her, she just said “FUCK YOU!”  So I ended the phone call.

I will not take that kind of treatment from anyone, let alone someone who claims to love me and be my best friend.

I expected there to be a phone call in a day or two.  Something from her, apologizing for her behavior.

Almost two weeks later, my phone rang and it was her.

I didn’t answer.

No message.  No follow up text.

A week after that, another phone call.

I didn’t answer.

No message.

Then about an hour later, the text message came through.

She told me that I was a horrible friend.  That I had never supported her relationship with her on again – off again boyfriend.  She said that she had every right to be honest with me about what she was feeling and it wasn’t fair of me to be mad.  Then she proceeded to tell me that she had supported me through my “slew of one night stands”, that she held all kinds of secrets of mine, that she couldn’t believe I was saying negative things about her kids and our friends kids because I “have one perfect child”, and that all mothers thought their children were perfect.  She ended the text by saying that she no longer wanted to be a part of my selfish world.

Ok.

I was livid.

I took a day to calm down and then I wrote this response to her:

I wasn’t going to respond to this text because it’s crap and you know it.  However, I have a few things I want to say.  You say that I never supported your relationship with XXXX, Although I’m the one that got you guys back talking all those years ago and have listened to you for hours and hours, tell me how horrible and mean he is to you.  So, like I have told you a thousand times, I just wanted you to be happy and if he’s the one, then so be it.  You think I’m selfish?  The friend who was there for you when you nephew passed away, when your sister had cancer, when your ex had cancer.  The friend that was there when you were struggling with your daughter and then happy to celebrate with you when she got things going good.  The friend who has traveled to every house you’ve lived in, but can count on two hands the number of times you’ve been to my house.  And yes, BL, I have made a lot of mistakes over the years and done a lot of things I’m not proud of but the biggest mistake was thinking I could trust a friend to not throw them back in my face.  We both hold secrets the other has told us, but the difference between us is that your secrets and mistakes are safe with me and always will be.  I have never and would never say anything about your kids or anyone else’s kids.  You know, as well as I do, that I have loved your kids since the day I met them.  I have heard those words come out of your mouth to others, more times than I can count.  You don’t want to be a part of my “selfish” life?  That’s fine.  I don’t need a friend who is cruel and nasty, just for the sake of hurting others.  Good luck to you.

I sent the message.

 

I don’t know if she saw the message or not.  She may have blocked me before that.  But I felt better sending it.  I don’t feel like I was nasty or angry or negative in the message.   

I was a little concerned that I may really miss her as a friend.  But a lot of my stress is gone.  I feel relieved not to have to worry every time my phone rings.  I feel relief because she couldn’t be happy for me, now that I finally found E and he’s wonderful to me.  She wanted me to be at her beckon call and didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t anymore.

I’m grateful that I have been able to get off this crazy train.

Neither of these stops matter to me anymore. 🙂

#winning

 

 

 

 

 

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Things I Have Finally Learned at 40…

Every day, I try to learn at least one new thing.  Usually it is something little like “oh, they put in a new stoplight there” or “everyone has nipple hair”.

However, I have learned some good things and meaningful things, since I turned 40, a little over seven months ago.

  • True friends will be supportive of you.  They may not always agree with your decisions, but they will always support you.  When you are up or down.
  • I DO deserve to have a man who loves me unconditionally and doesn’t need me to “fix” him.
  • Women can be mean and heartless and bitchy beyond belief.
  • Even though Tinder is primarily considered a “hookup” app, you can still find true love.
  • Sometimes friendships just die.  People grow apart, they can’t be supportive of each other and they just end.  But, having said that, I also believe that friendships can just dissolve with no angry words being thrown around.
  • I look good with lipstick on.
  • You don’t have to know someone very long, to know that you are kindred spirits.  Both men and women.  Dating and friends.
  • I hate the word cunt, but have had to use it a lot lately.  Frankly, sometimes there is no other appropriate word.
  • For years, I have been programmed to think that skinny is what guys are after.  Turns out, not all guys want that.  Some guys do think women are sexy when they have a little meat on their bones.
  • I have also realized that friendships come in many forms.  You don’t have to see someone daily, talk to them on the phone or even have ever met them.  Sometimes you are just spirit animals with someone.

There are just a few things that I have learned.

I have found my love, lost a best friend and made a couple new friends, all since celebrating the 40th anniversary of my birth.

Oh, I also learned that a hair or two on your nipple, isn’t unheard of.