Stop Being So Honest


I always tell people, over and over again, that I just want them to be honest with me.  Men specifically.

You don’t like me?  Say so.

You think I’m ugly?  Say so.

You want to casually date, because you fuck other people?  Say so.

We live to far away to talk about it?  Say so.

You think I’m hot, but hate my laugh?  Say so.

However, I have come to realize lately, that I would rather not know all these things.  Be honest, to a degree.

You don’t like me?  Say our personalities don’t really mesh.

You think I’m ugly?  Don’t fucking swipe right then.

You want to casually date?  Say I like you but I’m dating others because I’m not ready to settle down.

We live to far away?  MOVE.

You don’t like my laugh?  Quit being fucking funny.

These things haven’t happened.  Ok, well the distance one did.  But I think I’m wearing him down.  Oh and he is dating others.  His roommate specifically, but that’s another post for another day.

E is wonderful.  I’m really starting to like him, when I know damn well I shouldn’t.

I saw him 4 times last week.  FOUR.  Quickie on Tuesday.  Dinner and sex on Wednesday.  Drinks and sex on Friday.  And on Sunday, he helped my daughter and her sister move.  And then we had sex.

I’m not complaining.  The sex is amazing.  A-FUCKING-MAZING.  I enjoy it.  More than I should probably.  The sucky thing about it is that I like him as a person.  He makes me feel good about myself.  He makes me laugh.  We have genuinely great and honest conversations, about everything.

BUT, he’s too honest with me.  Here are a few highlights of our conversations the past week.   Good and honest.

I don’t know what it is about you Andi, but you are making me break my own rules.  The other girls I’m seeing don’t do this to me. 

Your friend is really pretty, but I would never hit on her, because I respect you.

I am thinking of where to take you on Wednesday for dinner.  It’s a great place, but I’ve taken a few other dates there.

Please don’t get used to seeing me four times in one week.  I need my alone time and I can’t get too attached to you. 

Even thought it’s a rule to have not anyone stay the night, hypothetically speaking, what night would be good for you?  Not that it will happen. 

Yes, I do fuck my roommate, but only once in a while.  And she really wants to meet you.

I do think you are beautiful and wonderful, but I really try to find the good in everyone and make everyone feel special.

I know he is not trying to hurt my feelings.  I honestly believe, in his mind, he’s just being really honest and that’s good.  Truly, I’d rather the honesty over the lies.  But sometimes, it’s too much.

Let me feel special when you tell me I’m beautiful.

Don’t assume I want to see you four times a week, every week.

I know you are fucking your roommate, but don’t ask me to hang out with her.

Be happy taking me to dinner.  Just pick a place.  I don’t need to know who or how many girls you’ve taken there.

Isn’t there a fucking happy medium out there?


12 thoughts on “Stop Being So Honest

    1. Right?! I do feel in my heart like he feels he is doing the right thing. I don’t think he understands why it upsets me, but he’s good about listening when I talk too. Because of my recent history, I may be more sensitive than I normally would be. 🙂 xoxo


  1. True! There needs to be a happy medium. The honesty needs to be important too. Good article. You were very open about everything and I try to be honest with the girls I see. It’s hard sometimes and I don’t go too far with it but I feel that if you’re honest no one should get their feelings hurt. Well, as long as I’m not being an asshole too, which goes back to the happy medium thing lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Honesty is crucial, in any form of relationship, whether friendship, sex or love. BUT there has to be a line!! I do not need to know that he took several dates to the restaurant he originally wanted to take me to! I could have been totally happy and oblivious. Good for you for being honest though! It’s so important! Thanks for reading and commenting! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think he’s conflicted, He likes the sex and being able to see other, but at the same time. He likes you as a person. Why not just tell him he doesn’t have to go into so much detail in his honesty?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I was married to a man like this. If you don’t say so now you will always get the same thing. They think they are being honest but it quickly turns to feeling like cruelty in a masked form. Please tell him as it happens and stop him from doing it.

    Liked by 1 person

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