I always tell people, over and over again, that I just want them to be honest with me. Men specifically.
You don’t like me? Say so.
You think I’m ugly? Say so.
You want to casually date, because you fuck other people? Say so.
We live to far away to talk about it? Say so.
You think I’m hot, but hate my laugh? Say so.
However, I have come to realize lately, that I would rather not know all these things. Be honest, to a degree.
You don’t like me? Say our personalities don’t really mesh.
You think I’m ugly? Don’t fucking swipe right then.
You want to casually date? Say I like you but I’m dating others because I’m not ready to settle down.
We live to far away? MOVE.
You don’t like my laugh? Quit being fucking funny.
These things haven’t happened. Ok, well the distance one did. But I think I’m wearing him down. Oh and he is dating others. His roommate specifically, but that’s another post for another day.
E is wonderful. I’m really starting to like him, when I know damn well I shouldn’t.
I saw him 4 times last week. FOUR. Quickie on Tuesday. Dinner and sex on Wednesday. Drinks and sex on Friday. And on Sunday, he helped my daughter and her sister move. And then we had sex.
I’m not complaining. The sex is amazing. A-FUCKING-MAZING. I enjoy it. More than I should probably. The sucky thing about it is that I like him as a person. He makes me feel good about myself. He makes me laugh. We have genuinely great and honest conversations, about everything.
BUT, he’s too honest with me. Here are a few highlights of our conversations the past week. Good and honest.
I don’t know what it is about you Andi, but you are making me break my own rules. The other girls I’m seeing don’t do this to me.
Your friend is really pretty, but I would never hit on her, because I respect you.
I am thinking of where to take you on Wednesday for dinner. It’s a great place, but I’ve taken a few other dates there.
Please don’t get used to seeing me four times in one week. I need my alone time and I can’t get too attached to you.
Even thought it’s a rule to have not anyone stay the night, hypothetically speaking, what night would be good for you? Not that it will happen.
Yes, I do fuck my roommate, but only once in a while. And she really wants to meet you.
I do think you are beautiful and wonderful, but I really try to find the good in everyone and make everyone feel special.
I know he is not trying to hurt my feelings. I honestly believe, in his mind, he’s just being really honest and that’s good. Truly, I’d rather the honesty over the lies. But sometimes, it’s too much.
Let me feel special when you tell me I’m beautiful.
Don’t assume I want to see you four times a week, every week.
I know you are fucking your roommate, but don’t ask me to hang out with her.
Be happy taking me to dinner. Just pick a place. I don’t need to know who or how many girls you’ve taken there.
Isn’t there a fucking happy medium out there?